Women are Evil?

Women are evil, at least that's the word on the street. Inside this post is "scientific" evidence that will prove absolutely nothing of use but hey at least it exists.I remember a few years back at varsity a friend of mine had this stuck up on his wall:

At the time everyone had a laugh (ha ha ha) and thought it was a clever joke. While the person who created it undoubtedly meant it as a joke (as well as an ode to masculine hegemony) and did not intend it to be analyzed seriously lets just be crazy and do it anyway.

First off, "Girls = Time x money". This is debatable as while women definitely equal time (what doesn't?) they certainly do not have to equal money (maybe who ever created this should have tried doing some sit ups). Sure there are enough Gold diggers out there to allow Kayne West to make millions off a song about it but this is a rampant generalization. A more accurate formula would be, "prostitutes = time x money". I'm sure that conservatives will be delighted to finally have a scientific argument against prostitution. Perhaps Senator Craig will present it to Congress (oh that's right he can't because he resigned after soliciting for sex).

But hey lets role with it and pretend that this is true. Then it is safe to say that anything that equals time and money is just the same. Hmm what else equals time and money. How about children, yes children equal time and money, thus children are evil (I always knew it). How about education and health care (republicans must love this formula)? What about any entertainment you can think of - video games, movies, books, etc. they are all evil too. 

According to this anti-terrorist programs are evil and so is war (maybe Republicans aren't so crazy about it). In fact the only things that are not evil are free methods of spending our time and of course working for money. That means this whole formulae is un-American and anti-capitalist. Thus, according to this formulae the correct form of political action is communism.

I don't know who came up with this but lets call him Lloyd. According to Lloyd women are evil but so is everything else that's worth a damn in this life. In conclusion Lloyd is a commie bastard that wants to piss all over the American way, and that my friends is what my good friend Ronald Reagan would call evil.

Note: The author of this article is not American nor has he ever met Ronald Reagan and he possibly watches far too much of the Colbert Report.

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Dude! That's Pretty Gay

That's right, we said gay, you want to read on don't you? Ok, ok stop, stop, we can't lead you on. It's all political... or is it?You haven’t heard the news have you? Well let me fill you in; an American politician was being all gay and stuff. That’s right, Senator Larry Craig of Idaho was involved in an airport restroom scandal.

June 11th (good day June 11th, well for me at least) the Senator was arrested by an undercover cop. Police claim the Senator solicited an undercover officer for sex in the men's washroom at the airport, using a series of signals such as foot tapping and placing his hand under the partition between the stalls. And as we all know you only tap your foot when you want sex.

The Senator plead guilty on August 8th and resigned from his position as governor of Idaho, effective September 30th. However, the Senator claims he is innocent and that his only mistake was pleading guilty without consulting a lawyer.

This story is interesting for ? reasons:

1) Yes, sometimes people plead guilty to crimes they don’t commit for a lighter sentence (like Nick Cage’s character in Con Air). Honestly though, what kind of US Senator pleads guilty to a gay crime (gay in that the majority of people would brand you that) when it would certainly lead to the end of their career (since being gay in America goes down so well outside of San Francisco) while being innocent. Let’s be honest with ourselves: Larry, you were looking for some same sex action (oh and here's his argument).

2) This is a good old case of what goes around, comes around. The Senator had consistently voted against gay marriage. And to put the cherry on the cake; after the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky scandal, he said: "It's a bad boy, Bill Clinton. You're a naughty boy," Well, what a naughty one you are Larry.

3) OK, so there is a hint of an argument since Larry tired to pay for sex and prostitution is illegal (which it shouldn’t be), but the real shame is that this is a gay issue. I heard the news dude say it on TV: a senator is caught in a “GAY” prostitution scandal. Why say gay if it’s not a gay issue? That’s the tragedy of it all, Mr. Craig was trapped beneath a conservative blanket that pushed him away (and obviously still does) from how he truly felt. Honestly, how does this affect his leadership ability? He likes the cock so he can’t govern? What the hell is that?

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