Celebrity Obsession

Who doesn’t love celebrities? This guy apparently. Deon Malan expresses his contempt for celebrity culture. Read it and weep, but please not too much.Modern society has brought us many things, some good, some bad. A recent invention allows doctors to keep the heart of a deceased person alive and beating by connecting it to a complicated heart-lung machine, which keeps the heart alive for about 12 hours after a person has died. If kept on ice, which is the case now, the heart only remains useful for about four hours, and thus the chances of finding a donor decreases significantly when comparing it to the 12 hour window created by this new invention. This is a positive and useful contribution to society. The following is not.

Celebrity Obsession is another product of society and is perpetuated by awesome publications such as Heat Magazine, and People Magazine to name but two. Once a week one can go down to the corner shop and purchase the latest issue of HEAT Magazine in which one can find a plethora of interesting facts on ones favourite celebrity’s, e.g. “Paris Hilton eats two hotdogs, read about it inside Heat pg 10. Last Thursday night Paris Hilton, famous heiress, home porn star, and regular alcoholic was spotted outside a famous club scoffing down two hot dogs. She was accompanied by famous fashion designer Tamagotchi Imakepuppetsfuckparis. Witnesses say that after she finished the hotdogs she disappeared around the corner, and when she returned had stain marks on her dress” or, "Paris Hilton faces Mike Tyson in a telekinetic showdown and loses” or, “Tom Cruise jumps off the top of the Empire State building and dies” (he believed he was going to fly). “Madonna buys a new leotard”, or “People finally realise The Osbournes are retarded and that’s why they’re on TV”, “James Blunt voted the most irritating voice ever heard on the planet”, “Puffy changes his name to PeeeDoodoo”, "Newsflash: Eminem divorces ex wife again and declares, : “ I hate my mother”", or , “ David Beckham gets a new hair style and Posh gains 10gms”, “Excess Magazine voted best magazine in the galaxy”, and other ridiculous stories!

What do these individuals offer us one might ask? In the case of Paris Hilton she is famous for being rich; she does not have anything useful to offer society except for a crappy porno, and the subliminal encouragement of teenage bulimia. As mentioned in the opening paragraph there have been some awesome inventions, some of which can save lives, unlike the lives of celebrities who don’t even have hearts or souls. So next time you pick up a tabloid magazine, remember that celebrities are not people, they are pictures in magazines.

deon malan