Designer Clothes – Good Old Fashioned Redundancy

Monkey Boy takes on this flawed use of language by the yuppie army - yup... yup ...yup... Oh and there's a half naked male - for those who just want to look at half naked males.

Is there any other adjective used in contemporary society that is more idiotic then ‘designer’. Sure there’s the use of ‘neo’ in the term ‘neo-liberalism’. For one thing ‘neo-liberalism’ has been around for 30 years or so – technically it’s not new (neo) anymore. What it probably should be called is ‘not-liberalism’ or maybe we should start calling atheism neo-Christianity.

However, our use of designer still takes the cake. We throw it around like a baby in a trailer park and we never stop to think, “Hey, this is really stupid.” Sure at surface level it seems pretty sound – “It’s a designer T-shirt because it was designed by so and so and he’s a good designer.”

But then if you scratch a little below the surface (with a toothpick) the redundancy is revealed. To call something designer is to imply it has a designer but you’ll be hard pressed to find any item of clothing that doesn’t have a designer. Even a piece of crap T-shirt that you pick up from Pep was designed by someone.  

The fun doesn’t end here, however, we’ve extended the adjective to cover just about everything – designer beer, designer gel, designer... stubble. Why not just extend this to people? After all a large chunk of the world to some degree believe in intelligent design.

Aren’t we all then the work of that big lady in the sky? Tell people to come on over and check out your designer friends. Actually that’s probably the slogan on a mouldy happy clapper t-shirt that’s rotting away in the basement of some free roaming serial killer.

Here’s the point: using the term ‘designer’ as an adjective is good old fashioned redundancy. Let us all try step away from this ridiculous display of description and use words that actually make sense. After all no one says, “Hey do you want to come over to my house and check out my artist artwork.” At least no one I want to hang around with.

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Why Christians are Closed-Minded

Ever ran into a brick wall? Then you might understand what its like arguing against a fanatical Christian. Here’s why…
“Knowledge is Evil, they both grew on the same tree” – Roland Barthes

As far as openings go, the Bible takes the cake. After babbling on about seven days it introduces us to Adam and Eve, a lovely naked couple that spent their days frolicking in the Garden of Eden. The garden was a paradise stocked with more food and talking animals than the entire Disney catalogue.

There was only one catch. Adam and Eve were forbidden from eating the fruit of the apple tree. Apparently God wasn’t such a fan of the old saying, “an apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Then one day a serpent (or a penis if you’re a Freudian) came along and tempted Eve to try the apple.

We all know what happens next: Eve convinces Adam to partake in the orgy and bite into that luscious apple. Then the two of them have second thoughts about being nudists and model leaf attire. God returns, and most likely upset that there is no longer nudity in the Garden of Eden, banishes the two delinquents for disobeying him.

Yes, it’s a simple tale but at the same time a very complex one. There are many negative lessons that can be learned from it, such as racism (think fat inbred KKK members) and sexism (think Jacob Zuma). But the most important discovery to be made within the mythology of the tale is the answer to that age-old question, “Why the hell are Christians so closed-minded?” Note, before filling this post with hateful comments this article is mainly aimed at fanatical Christians.

The answer, “Christians are closed-minded because that’s what their religion teaches them.” Adam and Eve were not forbidden from eating from the tree of murder, or the tree of lust, anger, malice, child molestation, smoking, carbohydrates. No they were forbidden to eat from the tree of knowledge. From day one the rules are spelt out, if you want to be with God you must be ignorant. You must be unquestioning. And you must be naked (metaphorically).

If you choose to disregard this you will be banished forever. Christians are closed-minded because that is the 1st lesson the book offers. Yes, I’m sure later on the Bible contradicts itself and says knowledge is important, but the point is, in a world were people often stop reading after a couple of pages, the Bibles first lesson is that knowledge is evil.

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