postSaturday, 30 June 2007

Where have all the Nazis gone?

We all know that Captain America defeated Hitler during WW2, but what happened to the rest of the Nazis? We sent Nim Chimpsky in to investigate.Disclaimer: I am not a Nazi I just find individuals who believe in completely irrational things fascinating.

Since their heyday the Nazis have virtually disappeared off the face of the earth. So what do these neo-Nazis actually get up to? Most sit quietly in their homes afraid that anyone will ever find out about their dark secrets- their basements full of Nazi war memorabilia, and their O-Town records.

Other neo-Nazis are members of political groups and forums (like and Stormfront), but what do they do with their time?

Do they hold secret meetings planning to take over the world? Or do they just get together and have Mein Kampf slumber parties? Or perhaps they are simply political lemmings who only keep up the charade in the hope of scoring some hot Nazi poontang.

Anyway, I took some time to check out what neo-Nazism is all about.

Although there isn’t a unified code which all neo-Nazi groups follow, essentially, most neo-Nazis stand for: white supremacy, anti-semitism, xeonophobia, nationalism, and fetishes for small Hitler moustaches. Neo-Nazis often use the symbols of Nazi Germany, such as the Swastika, Sig Runes, and the red-white-black color scheme. However, since some countries have laws prohibiting the expression of pro-Nazi, racist or anti-Semitic views it’s no wonder that these angst-ridden individuals don’t get the chance to make more noise (and show off
their cool moustaches).

Now, lets do a bit of word association. I say a word and you say the first thing that comes to mind. Ok. “NEO-NAZI”.

Well most of you are probably thinking that neo-Nazis are poorly educated, have large death-metal collections, infatuations with Darth Vader, and a generous side portion of PENIS ENVY.

Well in order to see how valid your claims are it seems only fair to hear straight from the Nazi’s mouth. Unfortunately, I don’t know anyone dumb enough to be a Nazi, so the best bet was to explore some of the content they propagate on the Net. Of course, I am aware that there is a slight chance that I happened to stumble across the small bunch of goobers who completely misinterpret what being a racist is and ruin the good Nazi name. However, I think it’s a pretty safe bet.


So lets get the basics out of the way. When I said “Nazi” you all thought RACISTS!!!!!!! And you would indeed be correct. Check out the article “Once You Go Black, You Might Not Come Back” posted on (a popular "white supremacist" website) which claims that inter-racial relationships are dangerous for white women.

They state that: “Blacks men are more likely to kill or batter women who engage in relationships with them than any other race.

Most white women who date or mate with black men are either physically disfigured, often by morbid obesity, or are mentally or emotionally ill.”


It’s difficult to judge the degree to which most neo-Nazis have been educated. However, it seems fair to assume that most racists are morons (I won’t go into details here, but if you disagree we can debate this claim later). And perhaps they are morons because they were poorly educated (a healthy amount of circular reasoning). Besides, some of the things these neo-Nazi bloggers write make George Bush sound like a real Harvard graduate.

On the various neo-Nazi forums there is much discussion of Nietzsche and his writings (given that Nietzsche is frequently caricatured as a Nazi philosopher). However, very little of the discussion was academic and perhaps most neo-Nazi readers of Nietzsche are just looking for advice on how to cultivate a fluffy moustache.

Bill White, the commander of the American National Socialist Workers Party also has a very interesting definition of Leftism (which seemed fitting under the education section):

“Leftism is essentially a philosophy of disorder and, really, hatred. It has hatred for all systems, all differentation, and all uniqueness -- and since everything is unique, differentiated from its peers, and ordered, either better or worse, the more one understands the left, the more one engages in a celebration of the worst.”

Hatred of Jewish People:

No surprises here. Almost all the content on sites like expresses a hatred of Jewish people. Various claims I read referred to “Jewish Propaganda” and “Jewish plans to control the world”, but as you would expect these claims were not referenced nor were they backed up by any arguments or research.

The Real Reason Neo-Nazis are Angry:

While I didn’t find any decisive evidence about neo-Nazis having large death-metal collections, and infatuations with Darth Vader, it was clear that they suffer from horrible bouts of PENIS ENVY.

Take a small meander through the article “Whites Have Bigger Cocks Than Blacks:Scientific Study Proves It” for confirmation that neo-Nazis (at least the males) are extremely obsessed with the size of their equipment. Here's what they say:

A scientific study has proven that white men have bigger cocks than blacks, despite lies about black sexuality perpetrated in Jewish mass media and pornography.

For decades, whites have had to listen to the insulting and false derision of Jewish propaganda claiming that African barbarians have giant cocks that somehow make white women attracted to them. While very few white women are actually attracted to blacks, and most of those of those who are are mentally, emotionally, or physically defectice in some way, this myth has been eagerly propagated by Jewish entertainment media, Jewish movies, Jewish music, and, most importantly, Jewish pornography.

Like all Jewish myths about black "superiority", such as alleged black musical ability, alleged black dancing ability, alleged black sports ability, and alleged black entertainment ability, the myth of giant black cocks has been proven to be a racist lie designed by Jews to psychologically undermine white society.

Yip. Penis Envy. Coupled with unsubstantiated claims and idiotic racism.

But, if you have any desire to abandon logic, reason and humanity here are a few links to help you on your quest to become a Neo-Nutsy: (REMEMBER: you could always settle half-way and become a Republican)

National Vanguard
American Nazi Party
Aryan Nations
Taiwan Nazi Group

And, if you want more information, straight from the Nazi’s mouth, you could always sign up for an info pack now for a mere $5 from


Anonymous said...

great entry except the end about being a republican.

The End said...

Thanks Mr. Anonymous. I'll take it you're a republican then, well to each his own. Don't forget to comeback and maybe leave a name and a link so we can return the favour.

Anonymous said...

ya fuck all u guys im a god damn nazi fuck you white power

Anonymous said...

your a silly man. your not very educated about all that you mention.
most of the as ou call them neo-nazis are just racist morons.

ever notice they do not call them neo-national socialists?
the real nazis were more anti-poor and were after a different agenda then history makes it out to be. the democrats are closer to hitlerism and that is what your really talking about hitlerism.
national socialism is not the same as hitlerism of the .05% of the american population that love hitler and are half brained racists.

Anonymous said...

did you know that most nazis are democrats? or is it most democrats are crypto-nazis?

Anonymous said...

why werethere so many full jews and mishlings in the national socialist party? class warfare..

graphical counter