More Spiders and Some Mice on Drugs

Animals seem to be getting high left, right and center.A big heads up to --Bamboo Blitz-- who drew my attention to this. In a previous post we showed some images of what allegedly happens to a spiders web when it is on drugs. Here is a video on the same topic. It seems to be a far more thorough investigation.

It's been on YouTube forever so you've probably already seen it. Over here is a flash app that shows the effects of drugs on the brain with the use of mice as a visual aid.

  The Explanations aren't so interesting but watching the mice act like they are on drugs should entertain you for a solid 60 seconds.

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Spiders on Drugs

When humans get high they become promiscuous, do nothing or freak out. When spiders do it they spin some crazy ass webs.Cannabis.net have the following pictures of what happens to a spiders web when a spider is on drugs.First off here is the regular straight up sober spider web:

Then if that spider decided it was a good idea to drop some acid his web might end up looking something like this on the right.

That looks pretty groovy but what if that spider had thought, "You know what I don't really want to see giant Oranges running up the sides of buildings chasing Evan Rachel Wood. Why not try mescaline Hunter S. Thompson used to do that it would be pretty cool. "

Well then the spider would end up producing a web more like this one on the left.

Ok, so I'm sure we can all agree that if Spiderman is taking on Doc Ock he should definitely rather be on acid than mescaline. You wouldn't be able to beat many super villains with that web.

Ok so the peyote is not for you. Why not rather sit back and smoke some hash.

 Well then the spider would manage to spin this out of his ass. 

But maybe the spider decides that drugs aren't for him. Instead he heads down to Wimpy for a nice cheese burger and caps it off with a good old cup of coffee.

 

 

This is what would happen to his web:

So if any of you out there happen to be spiders stay away from the Red Bull cause that shit will fuck you up.

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Lighter/Erotica

You don’t think lighters are erotic? Well then you obviously haven’t read this.There is nothing more erotic than a man and his lighter. Oh, the sweet feeling of plastic against flesh as one thrusts upon the button causing the flint to grind, climaxing in a burst of fire. If you’re like the rest of us these thoughts probably don’t go through your mind, as you light up a smoke, at least not consciously.

According to psychoanalysts, however, this is what happens in our unconscious. Don’t dis it too quickly, because Ernest Dichter will tell you (if he was still alive) “it has been proved beyond any doubt that many of our daily decisions are governed by motivations over which we have no control and of which we are often quite unaware.”

Dichter, the father of motivational research, took Freudian psychoanalytical concepts to the advertising industry. Even if you think it’s a load of horse shit, psychoanalysis is being used in adverts to penetrate deep into your psyche. But now back to lighters.

Dichter believed that the main reason we use lighters is to feel powerful. Going far back into the history of man, our triumph over the elements, the ability to command fire has always been seen as one of our crowning achievements. The lighter provides modern man with the training wheels version of fire starting.

The very fact that a lighter is so quick and efficient enhances this feeling of power. However, if a lighter fails it frustrates us because we cannot accomplish our need for a feeling of mastery and control. Of course it wouldn’t be psychoanalysis without throwing in some sex, thus, the lighter is fused unconsciously with the idea of sexual potency.

So, whenever a lighter fails to work for you, you are experiencing something similar to impotence. Think about that the next time you light up. Oh, and plus this basically means smokers are people who feel weak in life and smoke to overcome this (unless of course they are into lighting their cigarettes by rubbing two sticks together).

Note: The preceding argument was based on one by Ernest Dichter in The Handbook of Consumer Motivation and The Strategy of Desire.

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