postMonday, 26 November 2007

Women are Evil?

How could Ugly Betty be evil? Women are evil, at least that's the word on the street. Inside this post is "scientific" evidence that will prove absolutely nothing of use but hey at least it exists.I remember a few years back at varsity a friend of mine had this stuck up on his wall:

Women are Evil accoring to this proof
At the time everyone had a laugh (ha ha ha) and thought it was a clever joke. While the person who created it undoubtedly meant it as a joke (as well as an ode to masculine hegemony) and did not intend it to be analyzed seriously lets just be crazy and do it anyway.

First off, "Girls = Time x money". This is debatable as while women definitely equal time (what doesn't?) they certainly do not have to equal money (maybe who ever created this should have tried doing some sit ups). Sure there are enough Gold diggers out there to allow Kayne West to make millions off a song about it but this is a rampant generalization. A more accurate formula would be, "prostitutes = time x money". I'm sure that conservatives will be delighted to finally have a scientific argument against prostitution. Perhaps Senator Craig will present it to Congress (oh that's right he can't because he resigned after soliciting for sex).

bad_girl_sexyBut hey lets role with it and pretend that this is true. Then it is safe to say that anything that equals time and money is just the same. Hmm what else equals time and money. How about children, yes children equal time and money, thus children are evil (I always knew it). How about education and health care (republicans must love this formula)? What about any entertainment you can think of - video games, movies, books, etc. they are all evil too. 

According to this anti-terrorist programs are evil and so is war (maybe Republicans aren't so crazy about it). In fact the only things that are not evil are free methods of spending our time and of course working for money. That means this whole formulae is un-American and anti-capitalist. Thus, according to this formulae the correct form of political action is communism.

I don't know who came up with this but lets call him Lloyd. According to Lloyd women are evil but so is everything else that's worth a damn in this life. In conclusion Lloyd is a commie bastard that wants to piss all over the American way, and that my friends is what my good friend Ronald Reagan would call evil.

Note: The author of this article is not American nor has he ever met Ronald Reagan and he possibly watches far too much of the Colbert Report.

1 comment:

Psychotic Cow said...

Makes perfect sense. Damn those evil commies.

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